


Kuroo Drabbles

by Aeshiryzen



Series: dump_fic [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Comedy, Crack, Drabble Collection, Fluff and Crack, Gender or Sex Swap, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-04
Updated: 2016-04-04
Packaged: 2018-05-31 03:07:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6452989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aeshiryzen/pseuds/Aeshiryzen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Random crack stories with Kuroo.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kuroo Drabbles

**Author's Note:**

> Dump fic. These crack drabbles came from some sort of a story generator app or years ago and I just sort of edited it.

**The Miracle of the Kitty (Kurodai)**

Daichi hated Winter. He didn't just dislike Winter, he hated it like a boiling, steaming hot spring... He loathed it.

Every Winter, Daichi would feel himself getting all boiling inside. He refused to put up jackets, he snapped at anyone who play snowball fighting in his vicinity, and he never, ever made a snowman.

One winter’s night, Daichi had to go to the mall to buy a bed. When he got there, there were so many shoppers pushing forcefully around, he thought his head would explode.

Finally, he was done. Just outside the door was a tall man collecting for charity. Daichi never gave to charity, so he started to walk past without a word.

Suddenly, the tall man dropped his bells and ran on top of the road. There was a small kitty right in the path of an oncoming truck. But the tall man slipped and fell, so now they were both in danger!

Daichi rushed out and softly pushed them both out of the way. There was a hard bang and then everything went dark.

When Daichi woke up, he was in a large room. It looks too polished. Also, Daichi's right arm hurt. A lot.

The tall man came into the room. "You’re so pretty!" he said. "You're awake. My name is Kuroo. You saved me from the truck. But your arm is broken."

Daichi hardly knew what to say. He felt quite dumbstruck, especially when he looked at Kuroo.

"Your arm must hurt heatedly," Kuroo said. "I think this will help." And he caressed Daichi several times.

“Thanks”

"After you got healed. Can I ask you for a date?" said Kuroo.

“Ah sure.” Daichi said blushing.

Just then, the kitty ran into the room and nuzzled Daichi's neck. "I brought him home with us," Kuroo said.

"We'll call him Miracle," Daichi said. "Our Winter Miracle."

Now, Daichi felt very relieved indeed. He didn't hate winter at all now. In fact, he loved it. It was the best winter ever.

 

 

**The Moist Cake (Oikuroo)**

Oikawa tripped along forcefully. She was on her way to meet her lover, Kuroo, for Valentine's Day. She smiled to see a kitty hopping along, carrying a fish in its mouth.

Oikawa was almost on top of the hill when she came across a moist cake, lying alone on a hard plate. "That must be a treat from my sweaty bear," she said to herself, and tripped over to it. The cake looked tight, so she ate it.

It gave her the most pretty tingling sensation. "How unusual!" she said and continued tripping to see Kuroo.

When Kuroo came out to meet her, he took one look and fell over.

"What is it?" Oikawa cried harshly.

"Your breast!" Kuroo said. "They're gone! Can't you feel it?"

Oikawa felt her breast. They were indeed gone. "Oh, no!" Oikawa said. "I'm a man!" She, or rather, he started to cry. "It must have been that moist cake you left for me. Did you know what it would do?"

"I didn't leave you any cake," Kuroo said. "I got you a bed. It must have been that shiny man who lives nearby. He acts a little softly, ever since he caressed a flower."

"But how can you ever love me, now that I'm a man?" Oikawa sobbed.

"Well, I never knew how to tell you this," Kuroo said heatedly, "but I actually prefer men. And I think your guns are really sexy like that."

"Really?" Oikawa dried his tears. Oikawa kissed Kuroo and it was an entirely hot sensation, like a boiling, steaming cauldron of love..

They spent the night having entirely hot sex, until the cake wore off suddenly.

Everything was rather awkward after that.

 

**I Saw Yuuji Kissing Santa ~~Claus~~ Kuroo (Terudaikuroo)**

Daichi woke up in the middle of the night. He was thirsty and so he decided to get a drink of water and maybe go peek at the presents under the tree. Even though it was only hours until Christmas morning, he couldn't wait to see his presents. There was one sweaty box that looked like a bed.

Then Daichi noticed that Yuuji was out of bed too. He must not have been able to wait for his presents either.

Daichi thought that he would surprise Yuuji. Maybe even sneak up behind him and caress him on his soft tongue. That always made Yuuji shiny.

Daichi crept harshly down the stairs and into the living room. There was the tree, with its sexy lights, and the presents, heaped up heatedly, and the mistletoe hanging from the ceiling, and Yuuji. Kissing someone.

Daichi was so angry, he picked up a dildo from a table and threw it forcefully on top of the coffee table.

They both looked around.

"Yuuji, you pretty kitty!" Daichi yelled. "How could you cheat on me with...with..." Daichi looked and then rubbed his cock and looked again. It was Santa Claus? By the looks of his costume, it is Santa Claus. But this man does not look Santa at all. He has no white beard or large tummy. He’s also not wearing any ordinary Santa costume. Daichi noticed that this particular Santa is only wearing a pants and his signature hat. He looks young, tall and very handsome. And his body! Man this Santa has one hot summer body!

"Let me explain," Yuuji said. "I came down for a glass of water and then I found Santa Kuroo here under the mistletoe."

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa Kuroo said and Daichi noticed the deep dimples from the hot young Santa. "So of course he had to give me a kiss. And what a hot kiss it was."

"Well, I suppose," Daichi said softly. "If he was under the mistletoe."

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa Kuroo said smirking seductively. "Why don't you give me a kiss too? Then things will be better."

That seemed reasonable. Daichi went over under the mistletoe and kissed Santa Kuroo.

Santa Kuroo was the best kisser ever, like a boiling, steaming cauldron of love... He made Daichi's crotch feel all tight.

"You see?" Yuuji said fondly and Daichi saw. So they had a three-way.

Everybody's presents were late.

**Tight Love** **(Bokuroo)**

Bokuto finished packing. Ever since Kuroo, his own true love, had been lost at sea, Bokuto had been miserable.

There was nothing left for him anymore, nothing caressed him, all was miserable. So today, their anniversary day, he was going to a bar and inebriate himself.

Just then, there was a hard knock at the door. Bokuto opened it and stood there fondly for a moment, before falling to the floor in a swoon and bruising his tongue.

When Bokuto stood up, Kuroo hugged him and looked softly. "My love," Kuroo said heatedly, "I'm sorry for the pretty shock. I've been shipwrecked on a savage island for the last ten years, living like a hell. I was only rescued last week." He paused. "I lost my cock in the wreck. Can you still love me?"

Bokuto could hardly believe his Kuroo had returned. "I will always love you, cock or no cock. Besides, you are the bottom in our relationship anyway."

They embraced forcefully and vowed to never be parted again.

And all was hot.

 


End file.
